So, what did one eye say to the other? "between you and me, something smells...". word around the block is that i should really crack on and do some college work, but im thinking im gunna sit my big ol' ass right on this 'ere sofa and plough through a bag of asda muesli and just search videos of cats doing funny things on youtube while all my work pails into insignificance. after all, it is sunday, thus forth i rename it Funday for my own novelty purposes. im having the time of my life watching my aunt mow the lawn and picking bits of granola and raisin out my teeth. i factually have not brushed my teeth since yesterday morning, ive got death breath. after a gut full of cider, wine, vodka, mcdonalds, fags and tea, my bowels are screaming at me and i can literally taste me own breath when i breathe.. its like some sort of calcified carbohydrate taste, and i have no shame in it, i don this breath with a pride that only the homeless and my crusty a-hole licking cat would understand. what i would really like to do with this spare time i have is do something excessively destructive like burn down a house or smash some plates or ruin the feng shui of someone's cactus garden, but, alas, i must do work. im going to read a extract of prose thats 622 years old, so fuck all you modern age readers, with your katie price novels and twilight, im gunna get serious about reading and go get a literature boner over this book. peace out.
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