Die in shame and dishonour, bleeding from the nose in a drunken slumber.

These last few days ive been reading and watching some seriously influential things and its opening my eyes to the world, but i keep remembering that one person cant change the world. i mean, jesus tried to change the world and what happened to him? he got pinned up on a cross like a right weener with nails through his palms. i dont want that to happen to me if i go round the street trying to tell people shit they dont wanna hear, i'll end up strapped to the front of some kebab van with old leering men laughing at me. no thanks. i think i might go live in a treehouse in the jungle for afew years. proper off the beaten track and tucked away from society and come back like some neanderthal woman, partly evolved into a plant aswell. the thought of this pleases me, i could just photosynthesize and respire, it'd be a quick and efficient weight loss plan. anyway im pretty sick of people telling me what i am and what im not, ive got blood lust for a lot of people now, i dont know what it is, but im becoming bitter as shit in my old age and i honestly want half the worlds population to go fuck themselves. for all the girls who become total shag lords and cant hold enough morals to keep their pants up, they deserve the crotch-full of STI's they get. all the men who cheat and lie because they havnt got the capacity to think about hurting their partners feelings should be castrated. to all the kids or adults of get cheap thrills from being cruel to animals on purpose need me to drop kick their heads. im so fucking livid today and i dont know why, but im hostile. irate even. stay out my way chumps, im ready to smash skulls

Young at heart

i wish i was 1 again, and that i didnt have to worry about all the concerns of adult life and the big bad world, and i could just sit and play with colours and shapes and not know what it is to speak and not know how to argue or tell someone who hurt you to fuck off, just to gargle and laugh and sleep.  growing up is over-rated. who wants to grow up and fall in and out of love, get heart break, try drugs and get drunk, lose friends and learn how much of a dog eat dog world it is when you could just stay young forever and never have to worry and to have bone marrow built like rubber and to fall down and not break, just bounce back up and carry on waddling along and putting things in your mouth that you shouldnt. i'd give anything to forget everything and be young again for a day. it didnt matter if things werent okay because you never knew then..

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

im still baffled about the whole space thing. so much about it doesnt make any sense. ive been thinking about it and it just stumps me. why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? it all a crock of shit. if i had the time i would do some research, take a degree in astrology, perhaps join NASA... but the truth is that im probably going to end up in a cardboard box under old newspapers in a tesco car park. ANYWAY, on that bombshell, ive decided i seriously cannot wait for it to snow again. autumn weather is an absolute life ruiner. this year im gunna be a badass snow fighter, not like last year where i just got destroyed by snowball head shots. ive thought about strategy and tactile advantages, and im thinking my best move would be to fashion some sort of catapolt and just batter the shit out of everyone and everything with tonnes of snow. watch out winter lovers, the snow will be stained red with the blood of my victims.

Wake the sun so stars can shine

 I'd like to know what the deal with space is, like... how big is it? because it really shits on my wheetabix that i cant fathom how it works. theoretically speaking, it does go on forever, and apparently it expands, but how can something than has infinite space expand? what is it expanding into? more space... but then that makes no sense, surely that bit more space has something beyond it as well? my thoughts on the matter; fuck it all. ive decided im going to invent a way to make the human race immortal ( apart from all the assholes out there, they can just do one) and when the earth eventually over populates or we get grilled slowly by solar flares, all the human race can just pack up and go to space to float about and inhabit our neighboring planets and just look out of our little space houses into the nearest nebula. shotgun uranus by the way, thats going to be my own hostile little planet where im gunna have some banging tea parties.  a lot of people say how amazing it would be to control time and space, but if i had the ability to control the spacetime continuum i wouldn't change much, i dont see the point in people trying to make life so perfect and avoid any problems, something bad is bound to happen to you one day, whether a grand piano falls out the sky and crushes you or you tread in some particularly nasty dog shit, it all builds character. though if i did have some control id like to have bernards watch, and just freeze time at free will to go and cause mischief. for me that just spells fun, i revel in the idea of the possibilities.. drawing giant cocks on national state buildings and undressing people and reassembling their clothes back on their bodies on the wrong limbs or on backwards. oh if i were God id really show this shitty planet a good time.

The ghost said to the invisible man, "long time no see!"

So,  what did one eye say to the other? "between you and me, something smells...". word around the block is that i should really crack on and do some college work, but im thinking im gunna sit my big ol' ass right on this 'ere sofa and plough through a bag of asda muesli and just search videos of cats doing funny things on youtube while all my work pails into insignificance. after all, it is sunday, thus forth i rename it Funday for my own novelty purposes. im having the time of my life watching my aunt mow the lawn and picking bits of granola and raisin out my teeth. i factually have not brushed my teeth since yesterday morning, ive got death breath. after a gut full of cider, wine, vodka, mcdonalds, fags and tea, my bowels are screaming at me and i can literally taste me own breath when i breathe.. its like some sort of calcified carbohydrate taste, and i have no shame in it, i don this breath with a pride that only the homeless and my crusty a-hole licking cat would understand. what i would really like to do with this spare time i have is do something excessively destructive like burn down a house or smash some plates or ruin the feng shui of someone's cactus garden, but, alas, i must do work. im going to read a extract of prose thats 622 years old, so fuck all you modern age readers, with your katie price novels and twilight, im gunna get serious about reading and go get a literature boner over this book. peace out.

"another day, another dickhead"

I WANT TO MARRY THIS MAN...

SO MUCH

Dont dink and drance

nice |nīs|

adjective

1 pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory 
i like it when things are "nice", so monotonously pleasing that the only word that can be used to describe   it is "nice", because its not quite good enough to warrant being fantastic or using another interesting adjective. i think at the time being i feel nice with a twist of apathy. strange mood to be in on a sunday morning. The weekend has been eventful, i managed to make my sisters cat shit itself; it literally pebble-dashed the front room table with liquid shit, and managed to complete a trail of chocolate buttons across the floor and onto my sisters boyfriends slipper. he was not best pleased, he was having none of that. as i prophesied i did end up drinking myself into a stupor last night, and it was most good and i made myself a prime example of what all drunks should be. godbless my liver for taking all my bullshit