its bad enough that i have to fight my own body out of bed every morning or i will literally never surface out the abundance of bedsheets and grotty pillows, and bad enough that i wake up with my eyes welded together with a good 8 hours worth of eye bogeys, and bad enough i always have a behemoth spot pretty much center of my face and becoming like a new focal point or a third eye, but all of these morning hinderances are nothing, NOTHING, compared to what i suffered on the train the other morning.
so, im on the train, its half 8 in the morning, im still working off my morning grip and waiting for my brain to kick in and process information rather than leaving me in my corpse-like stupour, and im about to arrive at my station to get off, so i get up and make towards the exit. but, leaving the train is apparently against god's will. now, if you any of you people reading this have a parker coat, you will understand and that occasionally there is a ridiculous loop of rope or string at the back of your coat that dangles just at the back of the leg. this little fucking piece of nonsense created by the ministry of shit design decided to ruin my life that morning.
on my hurried exit off the train- trying to retain a cool and collected demeanour whilst looking like a walking scrotum- this toggle on the back of my coat has become snagged on the arm rest of a seat, resulting in me catapolting backwards into this vaguely familiar guy from college. so now im stood there, flaundering like a fish out of water and still trying to make a most pathetic advancement towards the door but still being tugged backwards by this toggle tied around the chair. so the poor guy behind me has taken it upon himself to grab me by my hood and drag me backwards to unleash me from my trap. upon release i acted like a wild animals and made another flight towards the doors, but before i knew it, i had made it 2 chairs forwards and the very same thing had happened to me; i was caught upon the chair arm by this piece of string. by this point, im developing a twitch in my eye and feel myself reddening, as the commuters watch my pathetic struggle to break free for the doors again. this
lad behind me has once again pulled me back, plucked this bit of string off the chair and propelled me forwards himself, and just when i can smell fresh air and see the light of eastleigh platform, i yet again find myself unable to move. only this time, it is my bag strap that has got caught. this was the straw that broke the camels back, i was ready to hurl myself into the train floor and curl up, possibly throttle myself with the very chord at the back of my coat and smother myself with my bag laiden with beads and oil paints. i dont think anyone will ever understand how infuriated i was, i was on the cusp of a panic attack followed by a swift suicide. never again will i feel as angry as i did on that train. never again will i be able to deal with a situation where i get snagged on something.
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