"The possibility of complete mental and physical collapse is now very real"

the beginning of a new era; bring on summer '10. college has indeed finished for me, my exam is out the way and i never have to go back once ive signed out for good, which means my higher education has hit the next step: university. now, im not going to blow my own horn or anything, but yeah, i got into farnham UCA because they think im awesome (true story). so come september, i will blogging from the perspective of a fully fledged student, reporting wild nights, complete moral transgression and serendipitous events that involve grievous bodily harm or modification and a stomach pump in A&E. but until then, i have a summer of gorging myself into a variety of coma-like states, be it self perpetuated deep sleep coma, alcohol coma, good food coma or a bog standard unpredictable roma coma, i expect to spend my summer in semi consciousness. i have already participated in my schedule of sadistic activity to kick start this unholy vacation. the first move was to unite with fellow skank Alex to dig up the fox skull that we buried in november, and after half a litre of vodka, the idea warmed on us and we decided not to wait for daylight but make an expedition to the burial site at 00:16 with a pair of spoons, a liver full of poison and a head full of shit and total unswayable motivation. you could say we had our blinkers on as we stormed across marsh land, through thicket and over barbed wire in aim of our goal, didnt even think twice about the zombies and aliens who could have taken us. sheer determination was the tandem emotion. anyway, as you can imagine, we got no where; the spoons bent and our hands bled, so we instead sat on a broken pontoon and drank away, talking yet again about the deterioration of society and the unrelenting problems caused by government benefits. the point is, we didnt get our fox head, until the next day, where we spent a healthy 3 hours of upheaving earth with a pitch fork and a trow to find our precious skull. turns out our efforts didnt pay off because some bastard had already done the deed and discarded the skull in some near by tall grass a long time ago. devastated.

so since then ive been coaxing out my wild side in preparation for my summer in the mountains, not that it takes much encouragement, i was born to be rancid and unwashed. part of this preparation runs along the lines of my alcohol intake increasing considerably (being introduced to the double jager monster will be the end of me, im sure) and spending much time in the sun, submitting myself into a state of mild decomposition. my goal is skin that is gritty to the touch and nigh on nigerian to the eye, hair as ropey as that of repunzel, and the general aesthetic of the troll that lives under the bridge in the billy goats gruff. as for now, i have to deal with renewing my passport, sorting out my bank account, getting my phone contract either terminated or sorted out, taking another driving test on friday and going to farnham for a taster day at uni. not until i have completed these tasks can i be the care free guru i aspire to be.