Wednesday, 24 February 2010

I think my ass cheeks are going flat from the amount of time I spend sitting down.


a few questions for you guys;

1; why is it that brushing my teeth seems like such a treacherous business nowa days? has my self standards slipped so low that i am in the slow yet inevitable progress of having my teeth digress to sugar puff like formations?

2; why have i taken to sitting like a 22 stone bald middle aged white man taking a shit? legs apart, feet perched on the balls- or what are soon to be bunions- with heels pressed against the chair, resulting in a slightly increased gradient of knee, perfect for balancing my scaly chicken skinned elbows on.

3; why does my head keep producing dandruff when i dont scratch my head for fear i may get my hands and fingers swamped and incarcerated in layers of what id like to call "hair" but im gunna run with my hair being more reminiscent  of an abundance of A LOAD OF FUCKING DISOBEDIENT PUBES.

4;  why is it that my eyelashes never fucking grow? is there some out of body determination to make me look like a hard boiled egg that karma is throwing at me? is it developing alopecia ? is it the fact i stand infront of the mirror for atleast 3 minutes a day tugging the crust of the tips of me oh so belittled lashes and resort to simply plucking them from their gummy bedding on my eyelid? all of the above and more. perhaps im being affected by nuclear fallout and slowly decomposing.

5; why am i writing this pathetic excuse of a blog instead of sleeping? the answer is, i dont know. i really dont. 

No comments:

Post a Comment